Faith answered

When we don't have answers to our questions, whether future or present, we tend to try to fix and cultivate our own plan. The deeper we get into our plan, the less we involve God, aaaaaannnd the self-minded project begins to grow. 

At what point do we invite God in? And if we forget to or don't know how to, how do we go about adding Him in to this plan of OURS? Thankfully, I believe God sees and knows our heart. I tend to compare my attitude as a gauge for where my heart is at. If I am struggling with something it shows in my everyday life. The fact that the above plan was so selfish and not at all God-centered is key #1! Include God! 

I have been studying Job the past month and a half. While I knew his lfe in a nutshell, I never sat and read chapter by chapter in the Bible. There are all sorts of nuggets of goodies to take away. Particularly pertaining to my topic today I find solice and familiarity in Job 23:5, "I would learn what He would answer me, and understand why He would say to me."

I started out reading Job because I was struggling with a particular issue and it was ongoing and I had always did my best to schluffed it off to the side and (try to) be on my best behavior, but my spirit was hungry for more of God's truth. Trying to be nice only works when a person alctually does.  I knew I had a cold heart towards this issue, but hoped it would work itself out. I didn't fully bring it before God, and rarely did I make myself accountable for my thoughts and actions. Once I confessed and got back in line with Christ and who He has made me to be and my role and purpose, I then found the beginning to some answers. 

As it reads in Job 23:10 "But he knows te way that I take [He has concern for it appreciates, and pays attention to it]. When He has tried me, I shall come forth as refined gold [pure and luminuous].

You see, there is no such thing as trusting God without all our questions answered. If we know the answers, we have no need to trust God. 

Even as I write this I think to myself, 'Okay God, I have done well with this. I think I get it now. I have semi-mastered trust. Everytime I get into a situation where I need to trust You, I'll remember this time and be able to quote this scripture or reread this post and it'll solve my problem by inspiring me to have faith and trust you as I know to do and was reminded by your Spirit and Word.  BUT, that's not such the case, I believe as long as we are alive on this earth we will have things we do not understand. The sooner we can learn to trust God in the midst, the better. Please, say it with me today as you read this. I also encourage you to write it down and post in somewhere in your home or car, "God, I don't understand, but I trust You." 

Keep on keeping on my friend and be bold knowing Christ will never leave you not forsake you! He is working out His plan in and through you!! Take heart, even though sometimes you may not understand the why, we understand the Who! 

Post op

Alrighty then. My body is getting a little too fluffy. This non movement is catching up with me and I've gotta tame the beast before it gets too far ahead of me!! I'm officially 6 weeks post laparoscopy surgery & I can work out and lift more than 20 lbs now. I have not worked out consistently the past 5-6 months because of the extreme pelvic pain I've been experiencing. OB is ruled out, moving onto possible back/pelvic nerve damage? My heart continues to go out to friends, family members & those I do not even know who live with any sort of pain on a daily basis. 

Weigh-in today: 146

3 day Shakeology cleanse

I'm supplmenting Shakeology for breakfast & lunch & eating a large vegetable for dinner. My goal is to drink 5 of my 24 oz water bottles before 7pm. I'll drink water upon rising & not eat past 8pm. Also this is ONLY 3 days & would be dangerous (in my opinion) to go on this low of a calorie regimn for more than 3 days. No snacks, no coffee, no soda, no candy. I may mix in some fruit but it will stay around 1/2 cup. 

Come back in 3 days & let's see what happens!!!

On a side note. I am not doing any intense workouts, just walking on treadmill & some weight lifting -- since I've lost most of my progress (muscle tone) from not working out the past 5 months, I will be starting slow.  We are also moving in 3 weeks which will throw off my routine, but not be impossible! 

As I typed that last sentence, all too quickly my mind is flooded with God's promises......"Nothing is impossible with God! I have created you in My image. You were born to bring glory to My name, not suffer. Draw near to Me & I will draw near to you. You have already won the battle, just take hold of it & believe!!! Believe in Me stronger than your doubt. Believe in Me stronger than your cravings. Believe in Me stronger than your insecurities. Believe in Me stronger than your pain. Believe in Me stronger than your discomfort. Believe in me stronger than your need to control. Believe in Me stronger than your plan. Just lift up your hands to Me & say, 'I believe'."

On a side note. I don't normally go by the scale. I go more by how my clothes fit. When I can tell I am gaining, I weigh-in to track my progress back down to normal range (for me I'm shooting for 130-135). So the scale saying 146 isn't like ohhhh I gotta loose weight. It just confirms my late night snacking and never-ending Christmas treats mentality needs to stop. I feel better, stronger, and healthier when I am not eating the junk & need to give myself a little wake up call. At the end of the day 146 is just a number and I am not defined by a number, it's simply a place to start and a knowledge base since I don't really know my weight at any given time unless I'm being weighed at a dr appointment or something. 

My special sister

I am blessed by my big sister. She is THE most thoughtful and tender hearted person I know. 

I have this note placed on the inside of one of my kitchen cabinets to remind me of her. She left this note in the guest bedroom after she came to visit earlier this year. 

This post is dedicated to her. You are beautiful, smart, loving, and kind. Thank you for being so real, and a beautiful extension of God's hand!!!

Not only are you an English major, poet, and mom, you are my best friend and I love you SO much! 

Mom after God's Own Heart

As parents we are blessed as well as challenged as we are entrusted with this precious gift of life. 

There are many seasons. There's that lovely stage when a child is first born and where we lack sleep and everything is new and as we start to get into a routine and learn the cues from our baby they start moving and rolling and crawling and walking and new challenges arise. 

One thing I'm learning as a mom is the changes and challenges continue, they just change as the child gets older & can understand more. 

It's my hope and prayer that I can teach them and do my best to lead by example. I know as I desire to do this I must be in prayer everyday and as challenges arise lean on the Spirit to guide me in that moment. 

How have you found you best keep your peace, hold your patience, and stay grounded? Quiet time? Prayer? Family Bible studies?