Sleepless

I have been sleepless the past few nights. Part of this is due to the chronic (pelvic) burning pain, and the other part is a mind full of ideas/todos/and honestly the peace and quiet is nice(I don't have much down time). I have a couple active "to do" lists I write my thoughts out and cross off the accomplished tasks, but between moving, and seriously looking into homeschooling lately I've got a gazillion thoughts running through my head. I hopped on to blog and say when I get in these funks my mind easily slips away so quickly and gets caught up in the chaos and I forget to step back and see what Christ is doing & ask Him how can I help serve His kingdom.

So I came back here to center myself and declare, I'm not going to be stressed or sabatoge myself because I don't fully have myself or my thoughts together lately!!!!

I saw this on a social media site today and I just LOVE the later mentality! 

I also saw this browsing Pinterest tonight

 

It's so true too! All we really need is Jesus. The rest is just details. We have wants & feelings & plans, but none of those matter if God is not the center. 

So while I may want answers and while I may search the internet hoping to find something that will fill me or take this uneasiness from me, all I really need to do is turn to Jesus and bring my requests before him. Rest. Trust. And believe He will continue to come through. 

Lastly, as I'm about to go to sleep, I'm going to pray that HIS will be my will. That HIS vision by my vision. That HIS heart be my heart. That HIS grace be my grace. That HIS joy be my joy. That HIS voice be my voice. That HIS hands and feet be my hands and feet. And most importantly, that HIS love be my love. 

Semi-sleepless

I realize this is not my most flattering pictures and my smile is halfway there... But it's REAL. It's me, it's life! :) 

Last night was my 4th semi sleepless night. 

I was having a huge pity party for myself early this morning in anticipation of the day knowing I had only slept from. 10:30-11:30pm and then did not fall asleep until around 5am again. The pelvic pain is back and the restless muscle tremors (from withdrawl of just 1 month of being on ultram) are still existent.

This morning while making milk for the boys, and waiting for it to warm, I bent over and my mind thought, I am so tired, how am I going to make it through the day being so tired? The verse that goes something like, "Lift up your eyes to the hills where does my help come from? It comes from the Lord filled" my mind. I immediately went from bent over stretching position to arms up and said that verse out loud. I sat down on the couch and praise God His mercies are new every morning! My Spirit rose up within me. And I felt the Spirit saying, "Becky, maintain a good attitude. I have given you a big, beautiful house filled with food and toys and two beautiful, smart, healthy boys. A faithful husband who loves you beyond life and family and friends who pray for you and are there for you." Did I get a big energy surge and now feel completely restored? No. But my soul waits upon the Lord for answers & I can do ALL things through him who gives me strength & I put my hope in the Lord where my strength is renewed. I will soar on wings like eagles; run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint.